The Awakening or What I Learned in My First Session with a Personal Trainer

It doesn’t have to be this way…..

 

I carry this excess baggage

of the injustices, missed opportunities, regrets

on an already abundant journey as if my existence depended on them.

Those should haves, would haves, meant tos

but couldn’t find the courage tos.

I keep looking in the baggage to find out why

I cannot move forward.

 

This is my suffering

 

This is what prevents me from standing tall

This is what chooses the refrigerator instead of going for a walk

This is what searches every how to book

Looking for an answer, THE answer, to my pain and anger

Hidden, I believe, somewhere amongst my dirty laundry

and the kitschy possessions.

The answer is never there.

 

This is the cause of my suffering

 

Pain radiating from my hip and back and knee

The prospect of giving up my beloved gardening

Spending the rest of my days sitting in a rocking chair, watching

As the world passes me by

Sends waves of grief throughout my being

Tears wash over me like spring rains

Wind penetrates the cloudy corners of my mind

A storm gathers strength, a breaking point

Flash!

Illumination….

 

There is a way to end suffering

 

Awareness is not the end game

It is just the beginning

My eyes open, heart soft, breathing deeply

I let go.

A phone call, an appointment, a time is set.

 

The Path

 

I show up.

I listen.

I ask questions.

I allow someone to show me a different (better) way.

I try, fail, then try again and again and again.

I take responsibility for what I do in my life.

I am mindful of what I put into my mind, my body and my spirit.

I set perimeters and keep (enforce) them.

 

This is my practice

 

 

I leave the baggage behind

And choose a new path….